Friday, May 13, 2011

A Mosaic Bridge.

I go back to Canada in 9 days!! So this will be my last blog because we will just talk face to face about this stuff the next time. It has been an incredible year in Mozambique and I am so thankful you wanted to share it with me. Before I end this whole blog thing though, I got to write about what has been bouncing around in my head. So here are some final thoughts about the human heart. (Hahaha I always talk about this, but it’s just so interesting to me. I promise I will soon tell you some amazing Mozambique stories about cultural blunders, robberies, and run-ins with the law, but for now bare with me.)

Do you ever feel like you’re all scrambled up? It isn’t that you’re confused; rather you get the sense that you’re all broken up inside and parts of you are only partially there. The rest of you isn’t lost; it’s just somewhere else in a different time. The rest of you seems to almost linger in the many places you called “home”, and endure with the faces you call “friend”. Well, I know I get this deep sense and it’s been with me for many years now.

Sometimes I get frustrated with it, wishing that all of me could be simple, from one place, and present. Sometimes I get unthankful with today, wishing I could be in the places of the past along with its precious faces. These feelings are normal, and I think I’m not alone in this. As normal as they may be though, they can hold us back; and distance us from those around us.

What’s more is that I know these feelings have foolish and unthankful origins. I know my frustration is littered with foolishness ignoring the good that came of being in these places. I know my nostalgia is wrought with unthankfulness, blind to the blessings and opportunities of today. I also know that both of these are fueled by selfishness. If somehow though, my heart could be changed these broken pieces, scrambled in different places and times, could make sense.

If I start with thankfulness, this scrambled sense becomes more of a mosaic. An artist brings together what doesn’t naturally seem like it should be side by side. It was all broken up once, but he put the pieces together and it becomes a beautiful piece of artwork. I think that if we can value each piece, being thankful for each one, we can also be like mosaics. What were just scattered and broken pieces of experiences, places, and people become incredibly unified and somehow they work together. Somehow it’s art; it’s beautiful.

I dare to say that you are just like me. I think that we all feel like parts of us are somewhere else with other people. Even if you haven’t traveled or moved a lot I imagine you have the same sense. I think its human it’s not just an anomaly felt by Diasporas. There is a measure if dissonance in everyone that each one has to grapple with, and each tries to figure out how to bring it together. I know, though, that I’m an awful artist so I think I’ll let the Master artist do His work.

There is a part in the Bible that talks about the different events in a human’s life and each event has a specific time to be done and the passage concludes with this… “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11. I look back at the timing of travels, experiences, and opportunities and it is beautiful. Although sometimes it seemed all scrambled up, I now know He was just making a mosaic.

I was thinking about this the other night and I couldn’t sleep because I know my heart isn’t just supposed to be a mosaic. There has to be something more. I realized that the mosaic is neat, but there is another unresolved issue, distance between people! How do we get closer to each other? You see, I have to figure out how to be relevant to those presently near me, knowing that the trajectory that brought me to where I am and the trajectory of those around me are uniquely different. Being a mosaic is cool, but what does it matter if I am a mosaic but alone?

Well, I think that if love replaces selfishness in our hearts the distance between us disappears. In some way, we can be bridges, connecting each other to innumerable experiences, places and faces unique to each of us. I think we connect with others not because of commonalities in our experiences, places, and faces but because of love despite and through our differences.

I am realizing that we can have a mosaic bridge between each other no matter how far or how distant. At the deepest level though I know the most beautiful mosaic bridge is from the very Heart of God to yours. Oh! I pray that somehow my Artist would gather all that is broken and scattered about me and make a rickety old mosaic bridge from His Heart to yours.

Some may have never thought about God having a heart, well He does and it’s a thrilling adventure to be connected to His heart. The verse above isn’t complete, here is the rest: “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

I have learned that the greatest adventure isn’t going to Africa; it’s knowing the heart and deeds of God.

Thank you so much for reading this blog.

Your friend, Jer.