Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A thirsty bulldozer

Almost every day at 3:00 pm and then once more at 6:00 pm jets will roar over Nampula. They are just like the jet I came in on. They are also the same jets that will take me home in just over 5 weeks. The thought of returning home is constantly in my head lately. I am overwhelmed with Joy to see my Family and Friends! I can barely wait!

The thing about those daily jets is you can't ignore them. They're soo loud and the airport is practically on Nampula's front porch. It's like a bulldozer in your kitchen trying to get a drink of water, not an entirely deft creature.

You know, there're many things I'd rather ignore at the moment and only realize after the fact or while it's happening. For example, if there was a bulldozer in my kitchen trying to get a drink of water, one would immediatly assume wreakage is behind him and shortly, the whole house would be destroyed in his search for water. Personally, I would not opt to know that a thirsty bulldozer is coming to destroy my house in advance. The agony of looking for and hearing the slow thirsty beast would be the worst part . You know its coming, you hear its diesel engine, but you can't stop it. It's just going to happen and what's worse is you have to wait for it.

My thirsty bulldozer is the dumb daily jets! Imagine knowing that one day you get to come home to family and friends, and every day you see the thing thats going to take you home. EVERY DAY! But, your turn to go is 11 months away, then 10, then 9, and so on. Sure, you're busy with work, you're doing your best with research, and you've been blessed with friends; but in the back of your mind you know "I am leaving in a bit." My bulldozer isn't going to destroy my house; it's going to take me home, but its been creaking along on my front portch for almost a year. Needless to say, I am constantly reminded that one day I am going back to Canada. I'd rather just have the days go by and then BAM "Wow its time to pack up. Sweet!"

It isn't that way for me, no, my lot is to look at that jet and pick a window. I stare at that window and imagine I have been lucky enough to get a window seat. YES, I love window seats! I imagine, I'm sitting in my seat looking down at Nampula and its surrounding mountains that we have climbed. I pick out the office and credit cooperative, where I worked for a year. I look for the houses of the friends that I have laughed and cried with. I pick out the neighbourhoods I've been roaming for months trying to interview members. (side note: one just flew over right NOW!!! DUMB BEAST.) I look through that little window trying to understand what happened in this year, trying to capture memories of what I have learned and have yet to learn. Then I imagine, sitting back sinking into my seat a very content young man because I've done what I came to do. I stare at that window reminding myself there is work to be done today. There is at least a few tasks to be done, I must do them. I just take on step at a time and added up those steps take me closer to that young man in the window.

I would like to quickly update in other news before I finish this post.

Research is going well I have a total of about 42 interviews done, exhausting my inirial study sample. I am currently trying to work out another selection process so that I can try to test a hunch I have. If it works I'll be happy, but if it doesn't then we will just have to make do. Either way I don't know what I'm doing!

Another manager change! Since I've been here I've seen two mangers come and go. Honest good managers are hard to come by in Nampula. :(

I had a weekend way back in the jungle last weekend visiting Estevão's uncle; it was tons of fun staying out there because it was really basic. Some would see it as poverty, but it strikes me more as making do quite well with next to nothing. Then sunday afternoon we heard some bad news about Estevãos cousin. So we traveled to the hospital where she was and it wasn't good. I feel like I should leave it at that, and I will, but it was the most aweful thing I have witnessed. My heart breaks for that poor girl. I can't stop thinking about it, and its partly why I am writing this. I've been thinking a lot and I needed to write something. Lets keep going forward.

Much Love, Jer.

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